[31-Day Writing Challenge] Is There Room For Me?

Then he said to his disciples, “The harvest is plentiful but the workers are few. Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into his harvest field.” – Matthew 9:37-38

Growing up, I always battled with inferiority complex. Every time I was inside a room full of people, I always had this feeling of not being good enough, not fitting in, or being the odd one out to the group. It seemed to me that I had nothing else to offer or even if I had one, it’s nothing compared to other people’s gifts or talents.

So I always hesitated to share my love for reading and writing, my interest in dancing or my desire to connect with people, listen to them and just share lives with them. I was painfully shy and at gatherings, I seldom strike conversations with new people or when I do, I rarely pass the initial “hi, hello” before I go back in to my invisible cave of silence.

Entering adulthood, and as I get to know the Lord, I found out that this attitude would not get me anywhere. Not only that, but it is also something that is not pleasing to Him. These particular verses in 1 Peter 4:10-11 pretty points out to me what I am doing wrong:

Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms. If anyone speaks, they should do so as one who speaks the very words of God. If anyone serves, they should do so with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever. Amen.

Each of us was given a set of gifts from above and we are expected to use it  to serve others for His glory. Now, if we hide this or we refuse to use it, then we are defeating the purpose of those gifts and we are not certainly glorifying the Giver. That  realization was convicting and left me guilty of so many things. I thought I was not special enough, I thought my gifts were just ordinary and not good enough to share. I was wrong. I had been wrong all this time.

My gifts were given to me for a purpose and that is to serve others. My gift of listening? It was given to me so a friend or a client at the office could rant and vent to me her problems and feel that she is not alone, that someone actually thinks her concerns are worth listening to. My love for words and writing? They were given to me so I can weave poems or stories or articles that people can relate to. They don’t have to win literary awards or be published as bestsellers to touch lives. Or more interestingly, they have actually helped win other people’s causes in court.

There is no inferior gift or talent because every good and perfect gift comes from the Lord. And what better way to say thank you to Him than to use this gift to bless other people. I am so thankful that the Lord made me realized this soon enough. It changed the way I see myself and others as well.

Now, whenever I feel insignificant and mediocre, or worst, whenever I feel the urge to compare myself to others, I always remember that God has also deposited gifts and talents in me and He is just waiting for me to use them in every opportunity He throws my way.  Opportunities to serve, not to be served. To give, not to take.

When I see things that way, there is no room for me to doubt myself or feel inferior. A servant heart is always needed and wanted anywhere.

So if I serve others using my gifts, not to profit from them but to bless others, there is always room enough for me in other people’s hearts.

 

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